Solo In Sayulita

I can’t stress the importance of “checking in” for your flight early as a Solo Traveller. The consequence of not... designated the last filler seat at the back of the plane directly beside the bathrooms. (singular bathroom to be specific- as the other one across the narrow isle was plugged & out of service for the duration of the flight )...  2 working toilets, 180 + passengers and steady stream of two never ending line ups. One at the front of the plane... sorry Executive Passengers... and one at the back.  Us “Back of the Plan People" shared a good sense of humour about it ... noise, odours & an assortment of “I have to pee now” faces staring over our shoulders to keep us lightly entertained. $14 charge onto my Visa and 90 minutes of wifi- quick CMA ( Realestate Comparative Market Analysis) for a client. Happy to do so for this lovely lady. I’ve attracted great clients this year & taking work with me is my choice. My website, marketing and database needs my attention. All components to sustaining & building my 13 year career in Real estate.

I decided not to pack my glasses for this trip~  one very expensive pair of Prada Progressive lenses ( code for distance, regular and reading) sunglasses (they hurt the bridge of my nose), the other an equally expensive pair of readers left in my car.  Mistake... when did the print on the airport declaration cards get so small? Thank you to the elderly gentleman in line at the airport in front of me who happened to notice my card was not fully completed and as we discovered together filled in incorrectly.  He had glasses and an interest in me apparently. My aversion to wearing glasses I’m now over. Accept, embrace and wear the damn glasses. When I get home of course... isn’t aging fun? 

One Mexican bus ride leaving Puerto Vallarta 42 pesos ( that’s under $3 Canadian), easy to navigate thanks to my Dad’s detailed map “once exiting the airport, passing the taxis & vendors, turn left, turn left, cross the bridge, 5 minute wait and the beaten up rusty green and white bus with Sayulita chalked onto the windshield appears.  It’s a full bus... I find a seat & place my luggage on my lap~ me & the Mexican locals depart. I am relieved to have a seat & relieved for my light packing decision- one small bag- 6 bikinis, lulus, 3 sundresses flip flops and my laptop and here I am ready to take on Sayulita. Saved myself the $75US taxi fare & more importantly experienced the locals bus ride for 45 minutes. Hot, humid, bumpy, yet oddly comforting. I feel a sense of pride as I stare out the window munching on peanuts sold on the bus. After all it’s not every day I take a bus and a Mexican bus at that! I’m proud to be its passenger.  I’m reminded of a similar feeling of pride... 20+ years ago~riding in a diesel crew cab work truck each day when I went tree planting for 2 Summers while in University. Yes...I left my blow drier, makeup & heels behind then too, slept in a tent on a mountain in the remote location of Mackenzie to poop in an out-house and build my character. My one pleasure...shaving my legs in the make shift shower while others waited anxiously in line barking at me to get out... thin tattered shower curtains..  I was busted on a daily basis. What can I say I like silky smooth legs. My boyfriend at the time & future husband, current ex husband but remaining close friend said “planting will build character, amazing people, stunning nature and I would love the food”. He was right on all counts. The “work” however was hell on most days. Even with my “creamed out pieces” planting term for easiest land to plant ~ compliments of sleeping with the boss ( yes my boyfriend) ... I got fit and muscular quickly, suffered many bruises, blisters, bug bites, tendonitis, recurring repetitive dreams of "finding the next spot to plant my tree" & yes “character development”. That’s code for F- bombs, shovel tossing & embracing nature~ the beauty & it’s harshness.  The carrot was dangled for the end of the contract- two weeks in Hawaii before University started.   I survived black flies so dense that concentrated Deet didn’t touch them. Deet melts plastic but wouldn’t deter these tiny black demons. Solution...thought initially it was a joke on the Rookie... “cover your face in the swamp mud”. It worked. Those that didn’t participate in facial mud painting that day suffered facial swelling making them hardly recognizable. The consequence of drinking swamp water & mud facials as I was later to experience... Giardia = Beaver Fever~ symptoms include terrible diarrhea, cramping, illness. All symptoms  I endured privately and stoically until a trip into the local Emergency room upon arriving in Hawaii. Best care compliments of my extended medical coverage. We were in the deep woods in the Fraser Fort George Region having arrived on small planes~ what were my options?

I had a phobia of bears... I was told “I would be lucky to see them”... I was lucky alright...day 1 of planting. Strange thing when you are literally in the middle of nowhere at the bottom of your piece of land... there is NO where to run or to hide. My initial gut reaction was to run up the mountain towards the logging road. With heavy planting bags strapped around my waist & new spiked cork boots this resulted into a face plant into the heap of slash. I was down and I was stuck and I was alone. I quickly realized everyone else remained working, head down, shovel searching for their next $ spot.  Each creamy spot a seedling plug could survive represented $. I was evidently the Rookie amongst these experienced lifer tree planters.  At the end of the day and returning home to camp I was greeted by bear # 2 ...  it was coming out of our tent! Boyfriend/husband/ ex-husband/ friend had insisted our tent be pitched back into the woods...”more privacy...surrounded by nature, away from the noisy generators, out houses and cook shack”.  I see the Bear first and stop in my tracks, anxiously searching for my bear spray in my overloaded planting gear. He runs directly at the bear, throwing rocks while bellowing at it to leave. He’s fearless, confident and loud ~he’s a true bush man and an alpha male. It comes naturally to him. He’s in his element of nature and not having to fit into what society deems as Normal. He is authentic and true. These qualities are what drew me to him and in later years pushed us apart.Different lifestyles, different dreams. 

Not exactly feeling “lucky” to cross paths with two bears already... Silver lining...the bear urinated only over HIS clothes NOT mine and our sleeping bag was left still dry. Marking territory oddly funny.  Bear pee is stronger than cat pee.. I say no more. The ripped zipper could be duct taped. Duct tape in a tree planting camp is a staple item as is coveted toilet paper. That night I slept in one of the big diesel trucks... got eaten alive by mosquitos due to the windows not shut completely...no key in the ignition & no sleep. Valid excuse for a day off work in my mind. I "was" sleeping with the boss and "did" maintain silky smooth legs right?  I moved over to the Camps Medical tent to get some sleep. I could hear the big diesel trucks start up as people left for work. ~ few hours later I woke up refreshed and excited to shower with no lurking eyes and a fresh razor. I walked around to the outhouse only to run into Mr. Bear. Adrenaline, fear, frustration kicked in and I chased that nosey bear out of camp and back into the woods.  The cook said she couldn’t believe the site of me chasing after that bear and was the one to call me back into camp into our little perceived place of safety. I spent the afternoon baking cookies and making soup. Later that night the bear was shot. “Problem bear too dangerous to have around camp”. It had destroyed 2 other tents that day, bit into a can of bear spray and ruined the tent. When I saw it dead I realized how thin and young it was... our fault encroaching on its home. We were the intruders and I felt awful. I left that planting contract with newly acquired muscles, a sense of accomplishment and a “fuck you attitude”  to everyone who laughed and teased at the thought of Philippa working in the bush.  Even back then I didn’t like to be labelled. I still don’t. We all have different sides to us. We just choose sometimes how we want others to see us. We are all capable of more than we think. I was.  

Back to Sayulita 

My 1st Airbnb is exactly as it was portrayed online.  A virgin to the AirBnB experience I’m impressed. Easy to book, pay for and clear communication with the host on directions to get here.  A different experience to the “all inclusive Mexican vacation” I have appreciated  while travelling with my daughter... safety, convenience & amenities...but the feeling of being cattle herded onto buses and through buffet lineups. No more all inclusives...

I’m travelling solo for 14 days. 

My casa for the first 4 days...

Newly built Boho Rooftop studio... (less than $100 night including the service & cleaning fees that you need to watch for), terrace views, a/c, king bed, shower with creative jet options, 1 block to beach, one block to main plaza. No kitchen... no fridge... I’ll be venturing out to the plaza to eat & drink. Not a problem... I’m not a big foodie and my plan is to drink lots of bottled water. Something I struggle with to do at home. Coffee and wine remain my staple fluids unless I consciously think about it. My local casa is comfortable, quiet and simple~ owned by a retired Vancouver Realtor. Sayulita is becoming a popular destination for Canadian investors. 

I left my high heels behind on this trip- I was warned...cobblestone streets, uneven pavement, unleashed dogs, golf carts everywhere... young kids at the wheel & the biggest hurdle to heels~ narrow open grid metal staircase up to my suite to navigate in the dark. Not heel friendly even for a gal like me that was born in them... I can run, jump and kick up my heels in them... honestly! A combination of extremely high arches & bent pelvis ( Thank you to my ex- horse Lucy for breaking that into multiple pieces a few years ago) Did I mention my feet are my best feature? Size 6.5 and worthy of someone with a foot fetish. I’m not humble about my feet they are that impressive.

I meet my host Leo & attempt to set up WIFI but the road out front is under construction and the internet along with it ~Could take a few days to repair. Hmmmm... aside from my iPhone addiction ~ I blame it on work but truth be told it’s part of our culture now... we are strapped to our gadgets... just try to leave the house without it and you will start to twitch.  I change out of my lulus into shorts and head out to dip my toes into the ocean. I don’t unpack... this is new for me. The plaza area is buzzing with activity, lots of restaurants, coffee shops, pharmacies... why so many pharmacies?  I notice Sayulita is obviously a popular spot for the Mexican people to vacation...  I was expecting to see more Canadian tourists. Now I wish I had spent some time learning some basic Spanish. There is an app for that! As I don’t have WIFI I text my daughter back in Canada ( part of my Bell package of unlimited texts, 100mb data per day- $10 day)  How do I say... “How much?” ~cuanto Cuesta  “Bathroom” ~ Bano.   

The beach is quiet tonight, a few solo surfers and couples. The water is warm. I’m glad I came. I’m proud I took the Mexican Bus. Strange feeling being alone in a different country. I’m nobody here. At home I am a Mom, Realtor, an ex- wife, ex- girlfriend, daughter, sister, friend. Here I’m a 47 year old lady with one small bag, a Visa card and my iPhone. I’m not accountable to anyone nor am I on anyone’s schedule. No expectations other than my own.  I can be anyone I choose, explore all sides to me that have been dormant while raising a daughter and building a career. And this is why I came... not exactly a search to find myself... I know who I am... as per above... labelled appropriately. Single mom firstly, Realtor secondly and then there’s the "check off the box items" to building a socially acceptable successful life ... list of accomplishments & accolades ... well educated, financially secure, good friends & family, amazing daughter, rewarding career, ocean front living, healthy, equestrian ...  Then there’s the other side of that... divorced, unsuccessful at romantic relationships~ wrong men? My lack of vulnerability? Trust issues? Fierce independence? A combination? 

I am healthy I can check that box off again... turns out too much stress, full blown fear of riding horses, fear of driving on my own road (another accident) and of course an atrocious diet ... does catch up with you at 46 years old. Last year my body started shutting down... literally ...twitching, numbness, rashes, digestion issues, having to pull my car over as I was falling asleep, insomnia. I was irrational, miserable, sick and down to just over 100 lbs. The result- running home to my parents in the Okanagan Valley.  Retired doctor and nurse I couldn’t go wrong and I was desperate. The result ~ relinquishing control of my life.~ for a Type A, People Pleasing Perfectionist this was NOT easy. My business I left in the capable hands of my colleagues, my horse I moved to a new barn with the intent of selling... I couldn’t face the fear & failure any longer. My once quiet gelding mirrored me and each day became more fearful, anxious & frustrated - rearing, head tossing and eventually resulted in me face planting into a pile of gravel while he took off bucking down the street & breaking his bridle and cutting up his face.  I wasn’t hurt... this time.  I got back on that day~ that night all I could do was shake. Each time I got in the saddle I felt danger...hands shaking, numbness, sweating, heart racing, vision blurred & eventually tears of frustration while hiding in the back of his stall. He dominated me, he had my number. So many tears as I watched my passion disappear. My back and pelvis had healed miraculously from that accident but my mind was left “fucked”.  With that my confidence dwindled & intuition disappeared. It never occurred to me to quit, to stop. Philippa~ defined as “lover of horses”. Who was I without that?  I got back into the saddle until I couldn’t.

So I ran... ran from everything. Took 6 months off work, ended my relationship that was held together with bandaids by that time and let go of all expectations. I learned to mediate... tricked into it actually through hiking in the mountains with my Dad. “Just a little bit further Philippa” he kept saying. I found my mind wasn’t racing, I was present in the moment... focussing one step in front of the other as we climbed. This was new to me~ out of my comfort level as I was addicted to the high of a racing mind, multitasking and adrenaline.  I watched the way my Mom prepared healthy meals and started to nourish myself... replaced sugar, fast food & caffeine with real food, water, bone broth and Chinese herbs and tinctures. I invested in Chinese medicine, acupuncture & counselling. Slowly I got better. It was not a quick fix.  Another new experience... Patience. Slowly life returned to balance, perspective, confidence & intuition returned and I got my passion for riding back. I set healthy boundaries in my career and I kept my horse Beaufort. 3 years later and we now share a bond~ he now mirrors who I am today.  Calm, curious, friendly, relaxed ... we both still lean towards perfection and pleasing. Horses truly are mirrors into ourselves... no fooling them... I tried. 

Back to Sayulita 

It is day 2. I have explored the Plaza in detail. Lots of nooks and crannies. I wonder how some of these small businesses make a living.  It’s poverty by our standards but it’s beautiful and charming too. Smiling, laughing kids playing around heaps of metal debris, broken bricks & natural landscaping. No iPhones in hand... As I wander through the back streets I question why no one has bothered to tidy up, pick up, repair... different priorities.  I purchase a cotton beach blanket. Negotiations take me to half the price we started at. I still overpay at $25 US~ it’s worth it to me and this man has to make a living.  The  beach is very busy today ... brightly coloured beach umbrellas with close knit rental chairs & loungers litter what sand is there...  the tide is high so space is limited.  I settle on a beach side cafe and order a Corona with 2 lime wedges to watch the surfers.  It’s hot and I realize I don’t have someone to watch my purse to take a swim. Tomorrow I’ll plan to leave it behind. My afternoon search to buy a book and reading glasses is unsuccessful and I return to my rooftop patio with my giant bottle of water.  More water... that’s on my list. 

Tonight I dined alone at a cozy candle lit table on the patio of INOS in the Plaza. Healthy salad with prawns & grapefruit with a classic salt rimmed margarita. I was surprised & happy to have WIFI... dinner dining alone is a new experience. Much easier to do knowing nobody for some reason... embarrassment perhaps? The discomfort of not conversing with someone across the table... Dinner dining out as a woman is not common in our little Comox Valley community. There I have friends & family to dine with after all. Coffee shop no problem... it’s socially acceptable to bring a book, check social media and less of a time commitment. People watching here is interesting. A different way of life. Large families, lots of eating & drinking, everyone seems to have a dog of mixed breed or small chiwawa at their side, no seatbelts in cars, no helmets, toddlers wander freely, shoes optional. There is an air of relaxation and happiness, no one is rushing. I see very little wealth. I feel safe and inconspicuous. 

Tomorrow I will explore the highly recommended coffee shop up the street for breakfast Yah-Yah cafe, swim in the ocean and walk the beach.  Mental note to leave behind my valuables ~flip flops, bikini and towel. It’s too hot and humid to run here... exercise might be limited to walking until my yoga retreat starting next week.  I see no gyms.

Did I mention I’m happy I came? 

Disclaimer... I don’t have my glasses and I’m typing on the notes section of my iPhone... grammar and punctuation are not my priority. I’m writing as quickly as the thoughts pass through my mind~ no editing and no desire to impress who might be reading. This is vulnerability...